Grade Mascots

2011's grade mascot Shark Kent shocked and awed last year at Hunter's annual carnival. The shock mostly came from the logical incoherence of what the mascot represented.  Clark Kent is the reserved disguise Superman uses to seem normal, similar to E J's sober state. Identifying with such an lesser character, however, seemed to best fit the Class of 2011, who voted for Clark last year.  One possible reason for such a choice is the grade's frequent partying with 2013, which may have caused them to internalize a feeling of inferiority.  One senior commented, bitingly, "LC hooking up with all those sophomores sure isn't helping."

2011 in a nutshell

2012's grade mascot is not projected to be much better.  Current suggestions are bound to Harry Potter references, YouTube sensations, and literary figures, all of which involve the least intimidating mascots in the Animal Kingdom.  S G holds the record for most numerous suggestions ranging from "Batman" to "Spiderman" to "Shark Kent again because we really can't beat it and wouldn't that be hilarious."  The disheartened juniors will most likely continue to debate sub-par mascot ideas until they all forget to vote and the E Twins pick it for them.

2013's grade mascot is projected to not make sense.  Judging by the grade's current hoodie design, it is assumed that over 73% is perpetually high.  M K was interviewed on his winning design, "I don't really know how it came to me.  I was pressing random stuff in the side bar thing, you know what I'm talking about?  Do you have any snacks?" If 2012 is any indication, half the grade will likely be expelled on drug charges before mascot voting even begins, which may shift the voting body towards sobriety, and thus, away from the penguin.

What the fuck is this shit?

After-party

With reports flooding in, further news on Semi after-party is now available.

First reactions to After-Party credit it for bringing together groups that are so rarely seen together in Hunter's hallways.

Namely, awkward White guys and Asians.

In fact, according to professional party organizer G K, "Up to 9% of after-party was populated by students not legally allowed within 100 feet of the school.  Also in attendance was a diseased Andy Samberg."  In-house Reggae artist J L elaborated, "After-party acted as a unifying force: it brought an entire grade together. Thank Haile Selassie, I even got some ass."

And so, the members of the Jew, Rasta, Gaelic, and Vaguely Ethnic Kingdoms learned to live in peace.

Similarly, after-party witnessed an influx of Japs not seen at the school-sanctioned Semi-formal.  It is believed that the senior princesses were unable to find dates to the event at 57th and instead roamed the nearby streets.  Amid the presumably aimless wandering, the one walking in front was inspired to go to after-party, and the others simply followed.

Mono is a highly contagious viral infection.

Pedophilic gangsters kept order that night, kicking out a homeless guitarist and his date, and charging some white kid with breaking a window.  Upon considering calling the police, they remembered the bricks of cocaine occupying their waistbands and opted not to.  Instead, the fully grown men spent their evenings observing intense teenage make-out sessions on a wall seemingly designated for that purpose.  It is speculated that the men actually volunteered for the jobs, secretly getting off to the potentially sauced high school students.

Guest appearance was made by cuddly Prime Minister Yousaf Raza Gallani.

Resident debater B W was critical of the event, sneering, "The gratuitous use of sub-bass ruined my tympanic membranes;" adding that he would have made the party worthwhile by incorporating themes from the last party he attended: the "Red, Black, and Silver" Dance.  Similar qualms came from a group of predominantly Asian students sitting in a hallway most people only walk through, who claimed, "Those beats were too nasty for our virgin ears."

Regardless, attendees were treated to the same dubstep remixes of YouTube videos previously heard at every other Hunter party, Talent Show, and nearby laptop.  Fortunately, the selection did not include any of the KPop playlist many ACS members are so fond of. According to numerous sources, playing such effeminate boy-band music might have actually made the newly deflowered Koreans more annoying that night.

KPop Star explains how many genders he identifies with.

Also mercifully ignored was the Song Request Google Doc. Originally populated by such hits as "Sexy Back" and "Like a G6," the group rapidly descended into 4339-line monstrosity, filled with 157 requests for "Friday," along with high points such as "Smell Yo Dick" and "The Nigga Song." "I just wanted everyone to have a good time," said naïve Term Council President J H, "which is why I felt it necessary to give everyone in the entire grade a notification every ten minutes, even after the entire plan was down the shitter." The whole list was later turned a bright yellow by Anonymous User 8678, who was unavailable for comment.

Semi-Formal Debut

Both with the debut of Hunter's finest news source and many an intoxicated Asian, Semi-formal is bound to stay memorable for days to come (to some, re: after-party).

Most notable: random fucking hook-ups.  From MG to M, ass was being got pretty much everywhere.

Students condemned the actions of a large hispanic rooster

Most terrifying: what may have seemed like an actual troll trying to fight you.  D S was at it again (actually, most likely for the first time), terrorizing you and your date in an attempt at god-knows-what.

Most happening: not the after-party.  A group led by E W was able to secure an after-semi karaoke spot and undoubtedly sing to all the shitty songs they had just heard at Semi.

The songs: limited to bad ones.  One critic claimed the songs were those selected out of a hat full of "only the fecal matter produced by grown homeless men."  Other complaints were far less disgusting, but still held weight against the quality of the song selection which included unprecedented quantities of Ke$ha.  "They didn't have Friday, I was really looking forward to that," complained a socially retarded participant, drunk on the fervor of a pop-fad she actually knew about.

The cacophony of the night's playlist was topped only by the DJ's stunning likeness to Severus Snape. It is possible that Snape was, in fact, hired to boost support for recent shitty 2012 mascot proposal "Severus Snake."

The dancing: awkward grinding galore.

The after-party: was full of people you have most likely never seen before.  Among the potentially inebriated masses, Y G J had this to say: "Ruaghhhyyuuuu."  Other notable moments included a fight between lightweight C L and a window.

Dunno who these kids are, but they look fucking trashed

The party provided water, thankfully satiating the dried palates of all who had the sense to pregame.  However, only two bathrooms were made available, 50% of which were later on used by C B and her date.  Lines grew long even when the water ran out, some say, because the sink in the bathroom on right actually worked.

In later news, J H's leg was almost set on fire by the vigorous motions of his date.